Woman of God Battered Into Submission - Part II
by Abigail Sanchez

The domestic violence abuser does not feel like he is the culprit. He believes he has done no wrong since he feels his behavior is provoked by others and he is just responding to others' behavior. Therefore, he absolves himself from all responsibility and sin.

I believe this is because at the core the dysfunctional disease is spiritual and man tries to give it a worldly solution. Until man recognizes and takes accountability for his sin he cannot be healed.

If you are a Christian woman, understand that only God can repair your marriage, and only your husband can allow that to happen. No matter what you have done you do not deserve to be abused and mistreated in any way. Like all sin domestic violence is a choice. You can choose to succumb to your sinful nature and victimize someone you say you love or you can choose to walk away and honor God.

According to statistics domestic violence almost always gets progressively worse. Domestic violence is a matter of the sinful nature of man and only God can give permanent healing if the abuser allows Him. All too often Christians forget about the verse in Ephesians that says "Submit to one another" (Eph. 5:21).

In addition, the man should sacrifice himself for her and follow the example of Christ toward the church (Eph. 5:25-32). Scripture also says husbands should not be harsh with their wives (Col. 3:19). In addition, we see in Malachi 2:16 that the Lord hates divorce, and to do so would cover the garment with violence. The consequence of violence is inevitably separation, divorce, or even death. Once a husband disobeys the word of God and refuses to submit to Him he has broken covenant with God and with his wife.

There are a few warning signs no woman should ignore:

Explosive temper
Belittling demeanor
Dual personality
Lack of self-control
Lack of respect for people in authority
Disrespect for woman
Overly suspicious and controlling
Defensive and hypersensitive
Does not respect his wife's boundaries
Wants to control her money
Interrogates her when she has been apart
Treats her like a possession or property
Embarrasses her in public
Blames her for everything that happens
Does not take responsibility for his own actions

Please note that many men may display some of these signs. Male dominance and control is very common in certain cultures. In addition, as I mentioned earlier some abusers may have emotional, psychological or medical issues. These characteristics stated above belong to a potentially abusive person. If they do not recognize that they need help, and get the help they need they have the potential to one day become an abuser.

Statistically most of the abusers are men. If your spouse displays more than three of the above signs of a potential abuser, or if you are concerned and are not sure, contact your local domestic violence shelter and ask questions. Your call is confidential and you do not need to worry that your husband will find out.

If you are in a domestic violence situation I recommend you get counseling. There are a lot of emotional and psychological effects for a victim that has suffered any kind of long term or even short term abuse. First find out if your local area has a Christian domestic violence shelter.

If not, try to get counseling from an experienced Christian counselor preferably one who has domestic violence training or experience. Unfortunately, even biblical counselors sometimes do not know how the word of God can relate to a domestic violence situation unless they have been professionally trained in that area. In addition, as I mentioned earlier there may be emotional and psychological issues that arise out of the abuse that an untrained lay person may not be prepared to handle.

Nevertheless, I believe God can use anyone He chooses to meet the needs of his children. God started using me in the area of pastoral counseling long before I had the formal training. The Holy Spirit will guide you to all truth if you are sincerely looking for biblical guidance. I believe the Holy Spirit can guide a godly man or woman to help lead you in the right direction.

I am an ordained minister, chaplain, and writer. I currently work with Domestic Violence victims and families in the State of Pennsylvania.

For more information please go to Rhema-Counseling-Ministry. blogspot.com

Copyright 2011

Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS