Christian Relationship Help: How To Deal With A Narcissist
by Karla Downing

Mutual Grooming Ponies

This Christian relationship help will offer you ideas on how to deal with a narcissist. The belief that you have to put others before yourself, forgive, give, and love can be exploited by a narcissist who refuses to consider your needs as equally important and wants you to give in to his/her many demands. Narcissists have many of the characteristics described in 2 Timothy 3:2-5: lovers of self, greedy, proud, boastful, abusive, ungrateful, unforgiving, without love, rash, conceited, and lovers of pleasure. These characteristics are difficult for the narcissist to change or acknowledge, which means that you will have to learn how to respond to the behavior in a way that protects and strengthens "you."

It is important that you take care of yourself in all your relationships and that you consider your needs as important as the needs of others. It is not healthy for you, the relationship, or the other person to allow yourself to be ignored, invalidated, mistreated, or disrespected. A mutually loving and caring relationship values the needs of both people (Philippians 2:4).

Here are some ways you can respond to a narcissist:

Work on developing a strong sense of "self."
Learn to validate your "self."
Give up trying to make him/her validate your feelings, thoughts and needs.
Attend to your own needs.
Identify the things in you that make you vulnerable to the narcissist's behaviors.
Identify the narcissistic behaviors so you can defend yourself against them and not be surprised when they happen.
Set clear boundaries and refuse to back down.
Develop assertiveness skills.
Sever the relationship if necessary or limit interactions, if it is really toxic.

This Christian relationship help shows you how to deal with a narcissist. Because narcissists refuse to make room for your needs in a relationship, you have to work hard at maintaining your "self." If you don't, you will lose yourself and the relationship will be destructive to you.

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