By Wangari Murathe

The kaleidoscope of love

Many people gather together with the extended family to celebrate Christmas. However, sometimes there may be little of the expected Christmas cheer because family members may have greater expectations in the way of presents or what to do in way of celebration than you may be able to deliver. Some family members may flaunt their success; while others may feel unappreciated because they have not achieved as much. And many family members do not see eye to eye and being together is strennous.

Sibling rivalry is often rive at get-togethers like Christmas celebrations. You can imagine if you are like David in the Bible. David's status was small even in the eyes of his father who did not think to call him when Prophet Samuel first asked him to go for his sons. He was only brought after Samuel's insistence, since the father did not think him worthy to be anointed. David's seven brothers among them; Eliab, Abinadab, and Shammah shunned and taunted him. His brother Eliab, a soldier, was tall and impressive, but cruel. Eliab acted contemptuously towards David, a shepherd, who was not quite as tall or impressive (even though he was healthy and handsome). For example, when David inquired about the possibility of fighting Goliath, Eliab reacted in anger and said David was conceited and wicked (possibly for having ideas beyond his station) and should return to tending the few sheep in the desert.  Imagine such a family at Christmas time. Imagine how they would be later in life after the brothers had grown up and had families of their own, with David and his eight wives and twenty children, some who hated him and each other!

Imagine also that you are Joseph having a family reunion for Christmas.  Joseph like David was also resented by his brothers because he was their father’s favorite and he had dreams of grandeur; one of them being that he would become a ruler and his brothers would bow before him. After first contemplating how they would kill him, they sold him as a slave.  However, he became their hope of survival when there was famine in their land.The relationship among the family members was also stirred by jealousy not just among the sons but among their four mothers Leah, Rachel, Bilhah and Zilpah who competed for their husband Jacob's favours. Imagine if the grandfather Laban who in his duplicity caused the sisters Leah and Rachel to be married to one man within a week was in attendance. Throw in their uncle Esau whose relationship with his father Jacob had been damaged by trickery and you would have a really fiery celebration.

Your family is important and families usually make your life easier because of the shared love.  However, yours may not fully appreciate you but this should not deter you from your course.  God has not finished with you yet and you get to mature as a Christian by resolving your challenges. Keep on striving to become the person God made you out to be. Despite their shortcomings and those of their relatives both David and Joseph were successful in God's sight and enjoyed his comforting presence in their lives. Do you? You came to this world alone and will leave alone. All others will leave you at different stages of your journey of life, except those you will leave at the end of yours.

Life is complicated. You cannot choose your family but you have obligations and responsibilities toward them. Your family may not fully appreciate you but this should not deter you from your course because God has not finished with you yet. You have your individual race to run: the purpose God created you for. Keep on striving to become the person God made you out to be. Relax and accept the family God gave you with all their imperfections. Smile more, listen more and spread love and goodwill to all. Forgive past hurts and lay off any bitterness.  Become a blessing despite any perceived shortcomings by others, by fearing only God.

*****

“As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are - what others say is irrelevant.” ― Nic Sheff

*****