So, you want to get married?
The choice you make will shape the rest of your life. Marriage is intended to be a faithful, exclusive, lifelong union between a man and a woman. A wise choice can lead to lasting joy, while a poor decision can drain your peace and happiness. Therefore, marriage should not be entered into lightly but with wisdom and careful thought.
Here are some key questions to consider before taking that significant step.
- Are You Really Ready for Marriage?
Many individuals rush into marriage due to societal pressure, loneliness, or romantic fantasies of a beautiful wedding. However, marriage is much more than a grand event—it is a lifelong commitment.
Before you say “I do,” ensure that you are emotionally whole and reliant on God to meet your needs.
A spouse cannot complete you; expecting them to do so places an unfair burden on them. Be realistic—marriage is not a romance novel but a journey that requires effort, patience, and commitment.
Some people claim to have divine revelations about whom they should marry. If you receive such a declaration, be sure that you, too, have a similar conviction before committing.
Your family and friends may have opinions about your choice of a partner. While your decision is yours to make, wise counsel should not be ignored. Their insights could save you from heartache.
“The heart is deceitful above all things; do not trust it alone—listen to godly wisdom when choosing a spouse.” – Jeremiah 17:9
- What Are Your Expectations for a Life Partner?
Personal preferences vary when choosing a spouse. While physical attraction is important, it should not be the sole deciding factor. Engaging in meaningful conversations with your potential spouse will help you understand their true character.
As A.W. Pink wisely stated:
“A pretty face is an attraction, but how vain to let such a trifle govern a serious decision. Earthly goods and social status have value, yet how base it is to let them control such a solemn undertaking. Oh, what watchfulness and prayerfulness are needed in regulating our affections!”
A person’s character, integrity, and values matter far more in the long run. Seek a partner who shares your faith and values—someone who is honest, trustworthy, and morally upright. As we read in 2 Corinthians 6:14 – “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
Few people meet their ideal match from the start. A successful marriage is built over time through commitment and mutual effort, aligning with biblical principles. “The love that will sustain a marriage is not the love that starts it; it is the love that grows through faithfulness and sacrifice.” – A.W. Tozer
- Are You in Love or Just Infatuated?
The best foundation for marriage is genuine love, not fleeting infatuation. Infatuation is often based on physical attraction and can be deceptive. Here are key differences:
- Infatuation is instant, love grows. True love develops over time, while infatuation can be sudden and impulsive.
- Infatuation focuses on a few traits, love sees the whole person. Infatuation blinds people to flaws, while love embraces both strengths and weaknesses.
- Infatuation is based on fantasy, love is grounded in reality. True love withstands challenges and deepens over time.
- Infatuation is insecure, love is secure. Infatuated individuals seek constant reassurance, while love is built on trust and mutual respect.
Test your relationship with time to determine how you rly feel – if it is genuine love or mere infatuation.
- Does He Truly Love You?
Keep in mind that a man who is selfish, controlling, or belittles you does not truly love you. If he is only interested in your physical appearance without valuing your thoughts, emotions, and aspirations, his love is shallow.
True love is evident in actions. A man who genuinely loves you will:
- Listen attentively to you
- Be truthful and transparent
- Spend quality time with you
- Be considerate and kind
- Remain faithful and loyal
- Encourage and support you
- Be patient and understanding
- Love you unconditionally, just as Christ loves the Church
1 Corinthians 13:7 says:
“Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.”
Love should not be conditional or manipulative. If a man only loves you when you meet his demands that is not love.
True love mirrors Christ’s sacrificial, compassionate, and unwavering love. A husband is called to love his wife as Christ loves the Church. This love is not based on perfection but on commitment and grace. The world often emphasizes eros (physical love) and phileo (emotional connection), but a Christian marriage must also include agape—selfless, Christ-like love which loves in all circumstances.
- Have You Prayed About It?
Choosing a marriage partner requires much prayer and discernment. Seek God’s guidance, trusting that He will provide the right person in His perfect timing.
“Godly marriages are the fruit of godly courtships. Seek Christ first, and He will guide your choice.” – Charles Stanley
6. Remember, marriage while desirable is not a must for everyone. As Paul said: “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:8-9)
It is far better to wait for a worthy love than to rush into a marriage that brings regret.
“The Bible never commands us to marry, but it does command us to marry wisely.” – Charles Spurgeon
Final Thoughts
Deep and meaningful fellowship with God brings peace and contentment, whether married or single.Do not let fear, pressure, or desperation lead you into an unwise marriage. Instead, trust in God’s perfect plan for your life. His standards for you, His beloved daughter, are high—and you should settle for nothing less than His best.
