"Once you learn to be happy, you won’t tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.” ― Germany Kent

Whether you have chosen one person or a series of people who are bad for you, you can stop doing this to yourself. By understanding some reasons through which we choose bad people we can extricate ourselves or avoid further involvement with people who choose to hurt us. "Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33

We choose bad people because we do not think like a bad person thinks. We do not anticipate the unpredictable, incremental pattern of mistreatment. Someone who loves you will not knowingly, habitually treat you badly. The presence of good qualities, abilities, or achievements does not erase the presence of those which are not, or the harmful effects of bad deeds. People from all walks of life may be prone to abuse others.

People who were important to us in our early years like parents, relatives, and friends may not have shown us what love is. They may not have taught us how to discern who is good for us and who is bad for us. Some of us who have chosen people who harm us have no idea what it is to have loving relationships because of past dysfunctional relationships.

Sometimes what significant others have told us or implied to us is that we do not deserve people who are good for us. Even good intentions can be poorly delivered. Our parents and others who were important to us were also imperfect. Some traditions may not frown upon certain types of abuse and may view it as customary. Some view goodness as lesser than achievements, lineage, etc.

We may also choose people who are bad for us out of guilt for past actions from which we have turned away. Although we no longer do what we did, we see ourselves as stained, and thus undeserving of people who are good for us; we feel unworthy of being truly loved.

We choose bad people when we seek, from human relationships the pure love, healing, and completion which no man or woman is capable of giving. Only God is capable of such through the Holy Spirit and through His Word. We need to view ourselves as complete individuals who deserve to be treated well.

Sometimes we choose bad people with a (perhaps unrealized) selfish motive of feeling good about ourselves. We pick relationships for what we hope we will receive, or for what we hope our love will do to cause them to become what they should be. Especially when we care for a person strongly and are yet treated badly, we try to do what only God can do. What a person should be is a matter only God can produce in his or her heart. We can reflect God's love to others, but God alone can pierce the heart and mind to the degree that a person is willing to change. Just because we do unto others as we would have done unto us does not mean we can persuade bad people to become people who are not hurtful. Even selfless love will not change a person who does not want to be good.

We should not allow others to determine the relationships we deserve.  We should also not carry the guilt of yester years and feel unworthy. We need to have good people who are kind to us and who will support our path in life.

"Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm" Proverbs 13:20.

God wants what is best for us. He knows every secret thought, intention, and act. No one can hide these things from Him. However, people can hide parts of themselves from us. This is one reason we need to depend on the Holy Spirit when deciding whether to choose or continue in a relationship.

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14